My DG started a few weeks ago, and I really wanted to be authentic with them about my past. For that to happen, I actually need to REMEMBER my past, and as my memory isn't all that brilliant, I sit down a lot in QT nowadays thinking about where I was 5, 10 years ago, and the things that God did in my life to bring me to the here and now.
John 15:5 says
Looking back at some of my early CCF ministry years, I see that they were utterly fruitless. I'm not even being modest, it was just THAT bad. Of course those experiences contribute to who I am today, but I clearly remember how my life, and the effects I'd have on other people, were really negative at that time. We'd hold evangelistic events, have nice songs, funny skits, and we'd tell ourselves about how great it went even though the gospel wasn't shared, and of course no one came to Christ. I'd let lukewarm Christians continue to waffle at my fellowship and wouldn't think twice about it. All the while I'd be leading men's group and be on CCF committee, and all that stuff. That was the kind of complacent Christian life that I lived, where I did things "for" God but never really expected or cared about whether He was there or not.
I thought I was being fruitful because I was DOING all of these things, and I let myself get comfortable with not seeing any real fruit, any real transformation in my life and other people's lives, always telling myself that since I'm doing all these things I must be making an impact for God somehow. I never realized that I never saw fruit mainly because I wasn't seeking Him out in the things that I was doing: school, family, relationships, ministries, etc. I wasn't connected with God in my own life, even though I was serving in this and that. Really, I wasn't very passionate about His kingdom, I was just concerned with the chunk of it I called my own.
Not that I'm saying we all need to go out and heal the lame and deaf and blind to be fruitful, but I think sometimes for us, if we really dig deep into our hearts and think about it, the reason we don't see amazing fruit in our lives is simply because we just aren't that passionate about God and what He is doing; all we're doing is asking God to be passionate about what WE'RE doing, what WE want to do.
John 5:19 says
In the end, we're not sent out there to do some new and novel thing for God. We're simply asked to do what God has already started doing. As we bow our heads in prayer, look at your life, and since you're here at prayer meeting, look at your ministries. Are you seeing the fruit what you want to see? If so, say a word of thanks for that blessing. If not, take some time to ask God why. Ask God to to reveal to you what He is already doing, so that you can stop doing your own thing, and join Him there instead.
John 15:5 says
I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.Now logically, the negative converse of this verse should be true too. That if you are NOT seeing ANY fruit, then you are NOT abiding in God. If you're not seeing ANY fruit in your heart, in your life, or in the lives around you, there's a problem with your walk with God. And I think this really rings true with my life before Westside.
Looking back at some of my early CCF ministry years, I see that they were utterly fruitless. I'm not even being modest, it was just THAT bad. Of course those experiences contribute to who I am today, but I clearly remember how my life, and the effects I'd have on other people, were really negative at that time. We'd hold evangelistic events, have nice songs, funny skits, and we'd tell ourselves about how great it went even though the gospel wasn't shared, and of course no one came to Christ. I'd let lukewarm Christians continue to waffle at my fellowship and wouldn't think twice about it. All the while I'd be leading men's group and be on CCF committee, and all that stuff. That was the kind of complacent Christian life that I lived, where I did things "for" God but never really expected or cared about whether He was there or not.
I thought I was being fruitful because I was DOING all of these things, and I let myself get comfortable with not seeing any real fruit, any real transformation in my life and other people's lives, always telling myself that since I'm doing all these things I must be making an impact for God somehow. I never realized that I never saw fruit mainly because I wasn't seeking Him out in the things that I was doing: school, family, relationships, ministries, etc. I wasn't connected with God in my own life, even though I was serving in this and that. Really, I wasn't very passionate about His kingdom, I was just concerned with the chunk of it I called my own.
Not that I'm saying we all need to go out and heal the lame and deaf and blind to be fruitful, but I think sometimes for us, if we really dig deep into our hearts and think about it, the reason we don't see amazing fruit in our lives is simply because we just aren't that passionate about God and what He is doing; all we're doing is asking God to be passionate about what WE'RE doing, what WE want to do.
John 5:19 says
...the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.
In the end, we're not sent out there to do some new and novel thing for God. We're simply asked to do what God has already started doing. As we bow our heads in prayer, look at your life, and since you're here at prayer meeting, look at your ministries. Are you seeing the fruit what you want to see? If so, say a word of thanks for that blessing. If not, take some time to ask God why. Ask God to to reveal to you what He is already doing, so that you can stop doing your own thing, and join Him there instead.
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