Heart of Worship

I felt kind of weird that Adrienne asked me to do this devo with you guys this morning. I said sure just cause I'm used to devos during prayer time on Saturdays. But then I quickly realized that this was for MAG retreat, so she probably wanted me to share on worship. 2 words popped into my mind then: UH OH. To be honest, I know absolutely NOTHING about music, I'm almost ashamed to say that since I was in 4 years of instrumental music in high school (flunked theory EVERY year). And I know even less about worship, simply because, prior to Westside, I've never done it much.

I've been really blessed though, in sharing this ministry with you guys; seeing this team grow, from like a team patched together from NY and sauga people, to now, a 14 person team that has 12 people from Hamilton. I honestly didn't know what to share with you guys today, so I decided to look at the lyrics to the song "Heart of Worship" for ideas. As I sit back these last couple of weeks, and really got a chance to be part of the worship, to enjoy it, I really felt God saying, there's so much more, or so much less, to worship than just the music.

The song says, "Longing just to bring something that's of worth, that will bless Your heart". Sometimes we make it sound like God needs our worship. Let's not kid ourselves, we have NOTHING worthwhile of God, nothing we do can bless him, nothing we have is good for Him. That's the amazing part, that worship, about the only thing we can think of to bring to God, is as much about him blessing us, as us blessing him. It isn't just about us bringing our praises to him, it's also very much about his love, his grace, his mercy, being brought to us. Worship is a 2 way thing, that as much as He loves our praise and thanksgiving, He also wants to talk to us during worship time, to work in us and through us during worship time. Let's not let our worship "sets" become exactly what that name betrays, SET; become so scripted, so laid out, that we miss the chance to hear him, to be led by him, and to watch him work during this time.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't prepare and just go do whatever you feel like, but you HAVE to be open to being led by the spirit during worship time. That if the spirit tells you to stop and be silent mid verse, you do it. That if the spirit tells you to repeat this chorus 55 times, you do it. The preparation time isn't that you can pull off this set perfectly polished, the preparation is so that when the spirit leads you to repeat this 55 times, you will have to musicality to pull that off confidently.

There is nothing more freeing for a congregation during worship, than a worship band that is truly free. Hamilton is unique because I think we're the most relaxed campus of all 3, filled with students that are eager, energetic, and willing to raise their hands, dance around, shout and cry out to God. While we always wish that for our congregation, do we display the same sort of freedom as leaders? Do we truly feel free up there? Let's not be so concerned with what people delight in, what people want to see, what people want to hear, that we forget that worship is about what God delights in.

2 Samuel 6:16-22 says:

As the ark of the Lord was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she despised him in her heart.
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When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, "How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!"

David said to Michal, "It was before the Lord, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the Lord's people Israel--I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor."

King David was dancing, NAKED, in worship to God, and people thought he was totally nuts, but he didn't care. It wasn't very polished, it wasn't very thought out, it wasn't very proper, but I'm so sure God delighted so much in that.

The question we need to ask ourselves is this, are we about people and music, or are we about Jesus? Should this Saturday the Spirit tells us to stop everything we're doing and do handstands because that's what God delights in, do we have the faith to obey? If God tells us to forget everything we've ever known about worship because he delights in something else, would we surrender?

Fruit-ful-less

My DG started a few weeks ago, and I really wanted to be authentic with them about my past. For that to happen, I actually need to REMEMBER my past, and as my memory isn't all that brilliant, I sit down a lot in QT nowadays thinking about where I was 5, 10 years ago, and the things that God did in my life to bring me to the here and now.

John 15:5 says

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

Now logically, the negative converse of this verse should be true too. That if you are NOT seeing ANY fruit, then you are NOT abiding in God. If you're not seeing ANY fruit in your heart, in your life, or in the lives around you, there's a problem with your walk with God. And I think this really rings true with my life before Westside.

Looking back at some of my early CCF ministry years, I see that they were utterly fruitless. I'm not even being modest, it was just THAT bad. Of course those experiences contribute to who I am today, but I clearly remember how my life, and the effects I'd have on other people, were really negative at that time. We'd hold evangelistic events, have nice songs, funny skits, and we'd tell ourselves about how great it went even though the gospel wasn't shared, and of course no one came to Christ. I'd let lukewarm Christians continue to waffle at my fellowship and wouldn't think twice about it. All the while I'd be leading men's group and be on CCF committee, and all that stuff. That was the kind of complacent Christian life that I lived, where I did things "for" God but never really expected or cared about whether He was there or not.

I thought I was being fruitful because I was DOING all of these things, and I let myself get comfortable with not seeing any real fruit, any real transformation in my life and other people's lives, always telling myself that since I'm doing all these things I must be making an impact for God somehow. I never realized that I never saw fruit mainly because I wasn't seeking Him out in the things that I was doing: school, family, relationships, ministries, etc. I wasn't connected with God in my own life, even though I was serving in this and that. Really, I wasn't very passionate about His kingdom, I was just concerned with the chunk of it I called my own.

Not that I'm saying we all need to go out and heal the lame and deaf and blind to be fruitful, but I think sometimes for us, if we really dig deep into our hearts and think about it, the reason we don't see amazing fruit in our lives is simply because we just aren't that passionate about God and what He is doing; all we're doing is asking God to be passionate about what WE'RE doing, what WE want to do.

John 5:19 says

...the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.

In the end, we're not sent out there to do some new and novel thing for God. We're simply asked to do what God has already started doing. As we bow our heads in prayer, look at your life, and since you're here at prayer meeting, look at your ministries. Are you seeing the fruit what you want to see? If so, say a word of thanks for that blessing. If not, take some time to ask God why. Ask God to to reveal to you what He is already doing, so that you can stop doing your own thing, and join Him there instead.