Reflections on Community 2010 (2/2)

God has continued to talk to me this week about why the current North American church model is hard as we transition into work and family life, and why we must move towards being Godly events rather than going to them.

There has been 3 questions that have dogged my mind since realizing a couple years ago that I was likely, for the foreseeable future, not called to be a career minister and hence will soon work full time, God-willing soon have a spouse :D, and have children. God brought to my remembrance some of the congregations I’ve been in, the 8 generations of CCF and other campus ministries that have left the campus into the working world, and seeing many, a majority even, lose passion and zeal for the Lord in the transition, in some cases even walk away from Him altogether. I always thought that there was simply something wrong with them, that they had probably idolized their career, or stopped praying, or some other neat little packaged reason, but God rebuked me about that this week, and showed me there was much more to their situation. Made me wonder, as I have for a long time now, how will I navigate the same transition? It bothered me knowing that those people weren’t weak believers or Sunday Christians when I knew them, but somehow they have ended up slightly jaded, a bit overwhelmed, a little burnt out, and self admittedly have had to settle into a life far less zealous than before. How can I navigate this transition and equip my working and family life so my zeal for the Lord can be expressed in a way that leaves me energized and enthusiastic, when so many Godly parents, family friends and university seniors before me have tried and given up?

I am shown my own life, how God came after me, and how by the power of His Spirit I now wish to live for Him. I remember my first attempts to live as such. I attended so many events: bible studies, prayer meetings, sermons, services, small groups, outreach events, etc. in order to be intimate with God, to grow and to reach the world. Yet somehow the whole never felt more than the sum of the parts, bringing me to a place that is alarmingly similar to the struggles of those that have gone into the working world before me. All those events were good, but it never felt like it came together in any congruent, meaningful, or even exciting vision of Christian life. Is there a bigger picture of living for God, more than attending and performing many Godly activities? How can I live for God in such a way that I am consistent, congruent and together across all aspects of my walk on earth with God?

I am shown our community, and remember the churches I’ve visited and been a part of in the past 18 years. My mind is forced once again to contrast them with Acts 2. The zeal, the giving, the love, the power, the abandonment, the togetherness, the joy, where has all that gone? I know God is more than what I see of His church today, so at the very least how do we get to what’s written in the scriptures? How can a church today actually be church as God intended, a bright shining light to the world, one soul after another, rather than an institution that’s worse than hated, but ignored and dismissed?

Perhaps many have had the same questions. If not then at the very least most of us would say that we’d want to grow with our future families, reach the world around us, and to be a unified force living in Christ and for God together. How does a typical church help with that?

Let’s look at a family of 4. Parents are Joe and Marsella Chan^[1], with son Bobby (3) and daughter Sally (12)^[2]. On a typical Sunday church morning, the Chan’s will park their car and walk into the church building and first drop off Bobby in the nursery downstairs. Meanwhile, Sally, embarrassed about hanging around her parents, has already run off to the junior high program. Joe and Marsella will then return upstairs, be handed their bulletins, enter the sanctuary, and for the next 2 hours act as if they don’t know each other, and proceed through service individually, usually without hardly a word to one another. Afterwards the family will reconvene, and go to dim sum^[3].

See what happened there? To what is for a lot of families the most important time that is dedicated to God, everyone is split up! The events at church, the mainstay of modern North American Christendom, pulls the family apart to encounter God separately. It does exactly the opposite of what most of us want when it comes to learning how to deal with new life stages and elements. Instead of helping us integrate changes like spouse and children and new mission fields into our walks with God, learning to grow with them, it actually divides Christian living so that each life element could fit into it’s own little cubby hole. We have bible studies for adults, for teens, for kids, worships services for adults teens kids, fellowships for adults teens kids, men’s ministry, women’s ministry, preschool programs, different prayer meetings and themed outreach events, retreats of various kinds, etc. The fragmentation goes on and on. So while each part of your new life get addressed, they are for the most part addressed separately. My wife might not know what I learned at bible study and therefore can’t hold me accountable, I might not have any idea about what my kids are praying and learning with their fellowship, I might never really have the time or the place to reconnect and invest in the people I talked to at that outreach event last week. The question of congruency and togetherness, how do me and my wife/husband and my children, my friends and those I’m reaching walk with Christ, openly and authentically, together, usually isn’t addressed on anything resembling a personal level.

The typical answer to the above is that families should find time on their own to walk in Christ together, or better yet, attend this series of family living seminars!^[4] Really though, for those who have been in this system for a long time, how many parents we know pray with^[5] one another regularly? Pray with their children regularly? How many families we know receive from the Word together regularly? How many worship together regularly?^[6] I now know, after being rebuked by God, that for many they are not solely responsible, because how realistic is it that when we’re working family people, we’ll each continue to go to service, a prayer meeting, a bible study, a small group, that quad-fecta of what people consider a devout evangelical in the current system, and still be able to invest quality time with our spouse? Our kids? Our extended families and friends? Our co-workers? Our neighbours and world around us?

The confusion about what to do with new life elements is what some of our sister churches are experiencing right now. They need a children’s ministry because couples with kids will come and complain^[7] about the lack of children programs and how they can’t possibly be part of the community without it^[8]. This attitude is because they have not been taught/shown how to deal with these new elements in their lives, and want the church to take care of it for them so that they could be freed up to live the Christian life exactly as they had been during their youth and university years.

This is why God is leading us in the direction that we’ve been going, of being Godly events, of being Church, rather going to Godly events, going to church.

I’ll use Paul’s bible study as an example^[9]. It started with some co-workers who wanted some bible support for a class, then some friends joined, then some people from our community, some friends of friends came by. They’ll have praise together, receive God’s word together, eat together^[10], support and pray for each other, admonish one another^[11]. So most of the new elements of Paul’s life, co-workers, friends, girlfriends^[12] are with him, experiencing God and growing together. In one meeting, that group lives a way fuller experience of the Kingdom life than if they had attended all those elements separately and individually. Perhaps some of them will have additional elements added in the future, a spouse, some kids. maybe new coworkers, but they will be added to the group all the same. There will be no scramble to find cubby holes to put them in. They will learn to love different people, different ages, different backgrounds. They will all learn to receive from God for each other. I admire that the Royce’s do this as a family, and I can see elements of that play out in our community as a whole as well, now that it has gotten a lot smaller than the ballooning activity-fest a few years ago. It’s spreading, with people like Amanda and Theo, Karen’s Juliana, and we’re realizing how much more joyful, I dare say more effective, Kingdom life is when we’re reaching those whom God placed on our hearts to invest, not more, not less.

Churches call this sort of activity small groups, but many will relegate joining SGs to a lower priority behind attending service and bible studies, and often SGs become just another event for people to attend. Not many see small biblical communities composed of naturally built relationships as the most important pillar in a congruent passionate Christian life. Yet interestingly, this isn’t even a new idea. Mega-churches like Willowcreek have long realized that beyond attending events and activities, small biblical communities is of premier importance in healthy Christian living, to the point where they will base their entire church on a vision that has small groups as the main event. I was sitting through a seminar by the head of Willowcreek’s 20s-30s ministry three years ago^[13], called Axis, and they don’t even really care whether people go to service. They meet in what they called “missional community hubs” or MCH’s that are based on entire young families making groups with their neighbours and friends, and sharing common passions in reaching particular parts of their world. I was also at a seminar by Neil Cole, author of “Organic Church”, as the organic movement was just starting to become a buzzword in Christian culture, and heard how praying and reading the word together, being held accountable to it in a small group setting; doing it repeatedly, over and over again, making it the simple main event of Christian living rather than the many services and activities, has transformed so many believers, and empowered so many to reach their world in a natural and enthusiastic way.

Through all of this, God reminds me that I am not crazy, that I’m following Him and not simply trying to be rebellious, and that we’re not alone in this revolution. We’re not even cutting edge! That dude at Willowcreek of all places, Niel Cole, books by Alan Hirsch, Shane Claiborne, even sermons by Francis Chan assures me that a transformation is happening in a new generation of believers; a generation that live lives of more than Godly activity. A new generation is spreading that are being little Christs everywhere we go to whomever we meet, standing shoulder to shoulder everyday with anyone and everyone who truly calls Jesus saviour and Lord, living intimate, Godly lives with our families, with our brothers and sisters, and praying daily that one day those we’re reaching would come along with us. For those of us who feel a tugging to this, you know who you are, that’s our path. I feel like God has shown me a little light in what admittedly has been a bit of a dark tunnel, and I hope you’ve been just as encouraged by this as I have been. Let us not look down on those whom God has not brought on board this journey. I’m telling myself that one every day, it still pains me when people don’t find this cool, but let us never waver in living by the calling that God has given this community; to discover and share with those for whom the current system is looking more like the thorns of life that they need not give up, that there does exist another Way; for everyone with us to become church together.

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[1]I don’t know why I thought of Chan or Marsella

[2]I’m starting to sound like Al lol

[3]The dim sum part never happened with my family, but has always been a dream of mine lol

[4]Not joking, seen that one before

[5]Pray with, not for or over

[6]I can’t really lead music, but I am soooo putting on some Shane and Shane CDs and rocking falsetto voices with my kids.

[7]Insik, I wonder if this conversation has happened to you yet

[8]Big kudos to the Royce’s and Fernandes’, you guys buck that trend good

[9]Paulie I know I’ve been floating your group out there a lot lately, but don’t ever feel like it’s prideful to feel good about what’s been going on with you

[10]I always say, eating gets a double mention in Acts 2

[11]Still waiting for Viv to get on this one :P

[12]You know I had to make that mention :P

[13]OMG has it been that long?

Reflections on Community 2010 (1/2)

Just had a great time with God this morning, and the following just rolled out in a stream of consciousness moment^[1], one of those moments where idea after idea flows so readily that you know it isn’t you. God was really revealing to me a deeper layer into what he’s doing with this community, and why it’s important that we keep going.

I don’t quite remember when or where I overheard this, but this morning started with me remembering the idea of church being like a car. Certainly a car needs things like wheels, tires, windshields and an engine, but just putting together any engine, any tire, any assortment of parts together do not make a good, or even working car. Similarly, assigning leadership, creating structures, hiring pastors, appointing elders, having ministries/services/bible studies/sermons just because the bible mentions churches have them does not make a good, or even working church.

The bigger picture is that there is a design, a blueprint, that dictates what sorts of parts are needed. Not all blueprints are the same, and parts between cars are not usually interchangeable^[2], as not all cars were meant to do the same things the same way. Not all parts of the body of Christ will function the same. Discernment is needed to figure out what methods of leadership, what types of ministries, what sorts of gatherings and events will make sense for this body; to find parts that work together as God intended for our context.

Of course it’s easier to buy into a complete car and go sit in it and enjoy it’s features, perhaps even let someone else decide where you’re going^[3]. Certainly there’s a whole lot more comfort, a whole lot more security in a car that is already put together and seemingly complete^[4]. But you get a whole lot closer to the design, and the designer, by going through the process of seeing the blueprint, gathering the right parts, and spending blood, sweat and tears putting it together. You might make mistakes, find out you read the blueprint wrong and put in the wrong part, and end up having to take it out, “wasting” a lot of time and effort, but you learn so much about a car that way, what the designer wanted that car, that part to do.

In the same way, it is easier to go to a church that has it all together with structures and ministries and activities ready for you to participate. There’s a lot of comfort and security knowing that hopefully someone else has already made all the mistakes and you get to enjoy the fruit of their labour. Yet some of us will^[5] definitely get a calling and find tremendous joy in watching God reveal His will for a community; obeying, trying things, making mistakes and learning for ourselves more all the time what being disciples for Jesus everyday really means for us.

That’s where I think we’re at. We discern, we wait, we toil, yet sometimes things don’t work at all it seems. People will be uncomfortable with how half-built this car is, how long and sometimes grueling this journey is and has been, and how much they miss the things they used to enjoy, things they feel they need, the parts of the blueprint we haven’t been led to yet, and people will leave.

People will tell us that we’re going no where, that the car isn’t even close to being put together; that some other car is so much more complete. And it’s true, our church is not complete so to speak. But in the end I believe what gets built, in each of us as well as the community as a whole, will make sense for us as we grow into adults that are strong, God-reliant disciples of Jesus, transitioning to a lifestyle of more than just having Godly events. We will be the Godly event.

So that’s where we’re at when it comes to our church being a work in progress, but why is it so important to go in the direction we’re heading now? If what we’re doing is so uncomfortable to some, why not try to be, or just go to a more “normal” church? Let’s start with the situation all of us wish to avoid, being a Sunday Christian.

I remember talking to some, at the various churches I’ve been to. Some pew sitters used to be passionate too. They played keys for their CCF, led bible studies in their res’, started prayer meetings. They too at one period in their life also gave themselves to campus ministry. So why as a career/family person are they Sunday Christians now? Why has the transition into the working/family life been such a stumbling block to so many?

When we are students, we are so free with our time^[6] and so close in proximity that we could follow God and grow simply by attending many activities: service, small groups, fellowships, bible studies, prayer meetings, outreach programs, etc. However, as we get older, and have jobs, get married, and have families, we can not engage zealous christian living by sheer attendance any longer. Not that we’re not as dedicated as before, but there comes other important Godly things to dedicate ourselves to, like our spouse, our children, our mission field and relationships at work.

So as we move on from school, if we do not move into our daily lives things like outreach, prayer, and receiving from the Word, and continue to rely on corporate events to fulfill those purposes in our lives, at some point we will be hard pressed and exhausted from going to those events due to these other new Godly commitments. Hence these Sunday Christians, not that they don’t desire to live for God, just that they are still continuing a system of Christian living that, as they transition into working/family life, is now exhausting and unsustainable. They have not moved, or have been taught to go towards a view and culture of church that facilitates their living for God in their new life context.

We need to move from a place in our lives where we attend many Godly events, to a place where we are the Godly event. Unintentionally, for me anyways. we’ve been leading our community to move in that direction already, to decentralize and de-programize a lot of what we think is important about biblical living, and bring them into our individual lives. So for example, instead of having weekly evangelism events, we started sharing and praying regularly about the people we’re reaching in each of our lives, and trying to keep each other accountable to investing in those lives.

This direction occurred simply because most of us aren’t students anymore, and are learning how to live for God in our new life contexts, perhaps knowing in the back of our minds that we are no better than those who set the traditions before us and that we too will end up simply in a pew on Sundays if we do not change.

Maybe then some find it hard to acknowledge our church as church because it does feel like that we’re not doing much as a corporate entity, that they can attend so much more while at school, that there ought to be so much more stuff at a church. I believe though, especially for those of us who won’t be career ministers and won’t be paid to continue living the zealous student christian life, there’s a lot of benefit in discovering and practicing how to live hard for God when you have a job, are married, with children. That’s where we’ve been heading, where we’re headed right now. And it brings me a lot of peace knowing that I am intentionally discovering and equipping my walk with God as I transition into working life.

And this brings us to why Godly discernment is critical, and the important question of “what does God want me to do right here, right now?” At any given point in time there are many many Godly ministries we could be doing/attending. While at school, we might be able to skirt around this idea of discernment and being guided by the Holy Spirit because we have the time and energy to be part of many things at once, and by sheer volume hit upon what God wanted us to do.

As most of us are finding out though, it’s harder to do volume when we have a job. Even harder when we’re married and have kids. So this idea of discernment, picking out God’s will for me in the present becomes more and more important if we are to live for Him in an energized and joyful way. That’s the conviction I have for the bible study starting in Jan, that at the very basics of discernment is to be able to read the Word of God, and have the confidence to say I’ve been spoken to by God from it. And from that conviction go on to obedience and experience God’s will for us.

Equipping people with that will require part empowerment, that yes, you have the Holy Spirit as your guide and you are qualified to hear from God; part encouragement, that God does not condemn our mistakes in trying to hear Him, and there’s so much more intimacy in hearing Him for yourself; and part challenge, that yes, God wishes us to live in obedience and to obey God we need to hear God’s Word, written and revealed.

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[1]Anyone remember where that’s from?

[2]Learned this one the hard way working on my Acura

[3]Some have more than one car and enjoy different features/drivers for different needs and wants.

[4]I say seemingly because Westside looked complete to many too

[5]Some of us already have gotten this calling

[6]I know students will beg to differ but just wait till you work full time :P