DGLT 2K12 Session 3 (2/2)

A Culture of Honour

One of the first things I shared at DGLT this year is that leadership is not about titles, and that you do not at all need a title or even a ministry to contribute greatly to this fellowship. So to wrap up our semester together, I want to restate this again: whether we have an official position or not, we are all responsible for the atmosphere, progress, and health of this community.

We are all in this together

I am not saying that we all need to find some ministry task to do at CCF, but I am saying that with our love we can all contribute to an atmosphere of faith and joy, and help take care of any concerns out of a place of peace and hope rather than anxiety, impatience, and frustration.

Acts 6:1-6 Now in these days when the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint by the Hellenists arose against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution. And the twelve summoned the full number of the disciples and said, “It is not right that we should give up preaching the word of God to serve tables. Therefore, brothers, pick out from among you seven men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we will appoint to this duty. But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.”

And what they said pleased the whole gathering, and they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit, and Philip, and Prochorus, and Nicanor, and Timon, and Parmenas, and Nicolaus, a proselyte of Antioch. These they set before the apostles, and they prayed and laid their hands on them.

So the Hellenist (greek) widows were being overlooked, and who were the ones who ended up taking charge in remedying the situation? Greeks! This was not anything glamourous, they were compared to waiters after all, but they were willing to give of themselves to a need that they saw, a need that others could not or should not cover.

Now of course not everything will wrap up quite as neatly as that. New needs will arise that will require us to figure out the appropriate adjustments from time to time as God moves CCF forward, and point leaders must decide on such changes with discernment and prayer. Ultimately, however, any positive change that we wish to see will require the support and dedication of many (dare I say all) of us to realize, far more than what the titled folks can alone bring.

No one is allowed to come and tell the leaders that "I need this this and this to grow, feed me" (well, I would say first years, newcomers, and non-believers get a bye). We are all expected to contribute our love to the concerns that we see, regardless of whether the point leaders have the resources to make those concerns a priority. You all have grown far too much to be telling yourselves that your powerful love can change nothing!

Honouring each other

On that note, one of the primary ways we can foster the health of this community is to practice a culture of honour, where we recognize and appreciate, privately and publicly, the contribution and significance of everyone around us. In my experience, the people who receive that least, but would benefit us all if they had more of it, are your titled leaders.

Many of you will find out sooner or later that it is not so easy standing in that spotlight, becoming the lightening rod and scapegoat when people get frustrated over whatever it is that bothers them. So as I noted in part 1, be proactive in encouraging leaders, or any helping hand for that matter. Celebrate each other's strengths, give recognition to each other's care and love, however small. Though our asian parents likely never taught us or showed us, learn to give praise publicly, frequently, for the fingerprints of God on each other. Learn to do it beyond the warm fuzzies at retreat.

Steer people away from griping about the fellowship (about leaders or anyone else), protect each other from that. This does not mean you have to pretend that everything is always going great, but be always, firstly, appreciative of everyone's servanthood. Bring your concerns to leaders as a partner with a fresh point of view, not as an armchair quarterback with accusations of negligence. Be faithful and hopeful of what God can do with you all. I can say with certainty that God is, and always will be, with Mac CCF. Seeing the good will allow you to address the bad from a position of faith.

This verse is pretty over the top and I am pretty much preaching to the choir, but still worth remembering:

Galatians 5:14-15 For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.

I charge each of you, whether titled now or future or not, to maintain that sort of hopeful and honouring culture here at CCF. It is just so much better that way than otherwise.

DGLT 2K12 Session 3 (1/2)

Winds of Change

A lot of you have been talking to me about all the growth you have had with your brothers and sisters here at CCF, and asking about how do I bring some of that back home, or to the schools you are going to next. Some of you have tried to help out before, only to be met with a lot of frustration, even resistance, and you are wondering if you did something wrong or that positive change is just impossible.

I just want to say that I have seen very few places that were beyond changing for the better. God is big, and His goodness transforms people and places.

I of course have to follow those sentiments by saying that there is no magic bullet. Change, especially if we are talking about some of the Chinese churches we grew up in, is often going to be painfully slow, requiring the utmost patience, and sometimes a realization comes that we are not the ones chosen to usher in what we wanted to see, all of which comes on top of the possibility that life will take us elsewhere long before we see the fruit of any labour.

Though there may be no definitive answers for changing the whole culture of a place, I wish to at least share with you how you can be a positive force on the people around you while honouring those (especially in leadership) who might for whatever reason not see the goodness you've received at CCF, all while avoiding pulling your hair out. Change might not be for certain, but I am entirely sure that we can be a force for the better wherever we go.

Home is where God says it is

Often, especially for graduates, I hear one of 2 sentiments: that their old church sucks and they have to find a one that is better, or that they must go back and help their home church.

I will talk about being encouraging later, but I do want to say right now that neither of those directives are necessarily true. Over the years I have seen no correlation between the health of your home church and whether God will have you go back or not.

So just because your home church "sucks" does not mean you should be leaving, and just because your home church is awesome does not mean you are staying, or vice versa.

Having said that, the prevalent trouble is when people insist that they must go and make their home church better. Even if God impresses on us to do so, we must patiently wait on God as to when do I go back. We talked about seasons in session 2. Quite often before going any place there is a season of preparation elsewhere, as Moses had leaving Egypt, and your years at CCF are not guaranteed to be the only years that God needed to prepare you.

Be careful that you do not begin to put on your own shoulders the spiritual well-being of your home fellowship. Let us be reminded that you can not grow them, you can not transform them, you can not be God to them. You are only there to spill over what is flowing into you; to welcome Him, to usher in His presence through what you are (present tense) continually receiving.

Hence the following points if you want to be a positive force back home:

Change starts with your joy, your hope, your peace

Are you wanting change because you want others to encounter God at least as much as you have and continue to have? Or are you wanting change because you want to be more comfortable there?

You do not want to come out of a place where you are trying to change them so they can feed you and cater to you better. An attitude that expects a return simply will not work.

Remember, you are not going home empty-handed. All of you whom I have had a chance to talk to, you have grown so much, received so much. What God has planted in you are not things that will only exist at CCF. I believe that God has planted seeds, gifts, talents in all of you that will continue to flow even when you are away. Now that a lot of you have tasted a greater portion of His presence through your time at Mac, I want to tell you that He is always available!

Do not let a heavy or frustrating spiritual environment make you feel like you have nothing. Do not let it take you out of that place of joy and peace with the Lord. Maybe home really is full of gossip, negativity, and views you as an ignorant child, but God's presence will shield us, and melt that around us, should we take the time to soak in Him. (Hopefully in one of next year's DGLT's I'll spend some time talking about some personal practices that help keep us in that place of joy, hope, and peace with the Lord when we're away from community)

On a practical note, if things are really really tough back home, do discover some alternate communities to connect to and receive encouragement from. I meet up with an old friend of mine to run a workshop at Campus Challenge every year in May. We are at difference places now, but it is always refreshing and encouraging to gather and bless others who are hungry. Perhaps some of you in the future will patron your local CCF. I know Ontario CCF's are likely the fellowships with the least help, and I myself find a ton of joy from watching you guys grow.

Take the time to cherish your relationships with your Mac friends during the summer and after graduating. Maybe with all the musical and prayer warrior talents I have seen, you guys can work together and do things like run P&P's at each other's churches. Or do training stuff together like I am doing with prophecy and Samuel's Mantle. Or simply just meet up to pray and encourage one another. Do not assume that just because you are back home that you should only connect with them and you ought not step out or that your Mac friends can not join or help you.

Give of the abundant love that you are continually receiving, not so that they could fill your dry well in return.

Change needs to come to people, not events

Yes, the service might be archaic, yes, the church/fellowship leaders may be stifling, and yes it is ridiculous that they think Jesus Culture is too emo and leads to depression (you may laugh, but true story), but do not let that suck you into pouring your energy over events and how they are ran.

For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
    you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Psalm 55:16-17

All through out scripture we see that God ultimately cares about the heart; in the end what God wishes to transform are the hearts and desires of His people (I already mentioned James 1:15 at retreat, and the second half of Romans 12:2 points to the same thing)

By your love, usher in a new way of being, a new way of seeing, and their doing (with perhaps just a light prodding past old fears) will naturally be open to adjustment. If you instead start by demanding them to change what they are doing, before they really see and desire God's goodness as demonstrated in your walk, I guarantee you confusion and conflict that is edifying to no one.

Story: "Kelvin back home"

That is not to say you can not try events like P&P should the opportunity present itself, but the aim is always to help people receive more of God's love personally. So even if we may have the opportunity to change everything, I would suggest taking it easy and focus on building deeper relationships that lead to openness, vulnerability, and trust. As much as we want to turn the light on full blast from the get-go, we all know people's eyes hurt a lot less if you turn it up slowly.

Practically, I would caution against taking on a leadership responsibility until you feel that people (including leadership) trust you and are open to you. I can assure you that leadership opportunities would arise rather quickly. In my experience, graduates who come back to their home churches with sustained joy and peace (and attendance) are few and far between, and existing leadership is usually quick to try to make use of their passion.

Jumping into a position right away usually puts you in a hard place where you might be expected to dedicate your time and energy into things that will divert you from loving people on a personal level, or worse, be asked to execute things that you cannot be wholehearted about anymore. I think it best to avoid that turmoil and simply dedicate yourself to loving people every meeting, bringing a new depth of sharing to those relationships, and genuinely valuing other's lives. I have never seen that cause a problem and it leads naturally to healthier influence via trust rather than position.

Also, be an encouragement to the existing leadership. If you are thinking about change then there is probably already a half dozen people who are at non-nonchalant or disgruntled. Do not become one of them. While it might be true that there are things you do not like about what they are doing, I am sure that God's goodness is working through them in some way. Practice seeing that. Honour that. Encourage that. Let them know that they are not being judged by their performance, and that you love them as brothers and sisters.

A biblical community, a culture of love, is only truly represented by the hearts behind its relationships. A greater love is what you bring home, far more than a greater way.

Change, transformation, speaks for itself

Of course we all want to see more people transformed and hate to see that get knocked on, but do not spend your energy on persuading people who are skeptical, critical, or negative.

I used to think that we needed to fight the establishment; that we needed to confront the old wineskins who refuse to let the new wine be new. Of course that tends to breed a lot of what I now know to be unnecessary conflict and sets up many roadblocks to healthy community that would take years to mend.

But I have realized now that the most persuasive thing you can demonstrate is when you walk lovingly with people and you grow together. Nothing speaks more of God than a group of people who love God and love each other extraordinarily. No amount of negativity or criticism can silence the sound of people flying with God.

Even the pharisees knew that. Have a read through Acts 5:33-39.

Feed the flame, not the trolls. People's desires and passions will not change because you have managed to argue them into submission. They will change when they see you and others fly.