John Wesley's Holy Club

1. Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am better than I really am? In other words, am I a hypocrite?
2. Am I honest in all my acts and words, or do I exaggerate?
3. Do I confidentially pass on to another what was told me in confidence?
4. Can I be trusted?
5. Am I a slave to dress, friends, work, or habits?
6. Am I self-conscious, self-pitying, or self-justifying?
7. Did the Bible live in me today?
8. Do I give it time to speak to me everyday?
9. Am I enjoying prayer?
10. When did I last speak to someone else about my faith?
11. Do I pray about the money I spend?
12. Do I get to bed on time and get up on time?
13. Do I disobey God in anything?
14. Do I insist upon doing something about which my conscience is uneasy?
15. Am I defeated in any part of my life?
16. Am I jealous, impure, critical, irritable, touchy, or distrustful?
17. How do I spend my spare time?
18. Am I proud?
19. Do I thank God that I am not as other people, especially as the Pharisees who despised the publican?
20. Is there anyone who I fear, dislike, disown, criticize, hold resentment toward or disregard? If so, what am I doing about it?
21. Do I grumble or complain constantly?
22. Is Christ real to me?
    

Sink or swim...or walk!

God really spoke to me through it this week though Matthew 14:22-31, the recount of Jesus and Peter walking on water. I've read this story dozens of times now, but as I started to take on new roles at Westside Hamilton, and looking ahead to transitioning out of school, this passage took on new meaning for me this week.

Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.

But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."

"Come," he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

First thing I want to share is that these impossible things that God calls us to do, these impossible situations that sometimes we get ourselves into, they are not tests of your faith, or at least not tests as you and I know them. If it were really a test, Jesus would've said to Peter "oooooooh, not enough faith, guess you're cut Pete, sorry." No, he immediately picked Peter back up. When God allows these situations in your life, it's not a test in the sense that you're screwed if you fail, he'll always be there to pull you out; that none of these failures will be, or were meant to be, fatal.

But more important to notice is that, what was Peter doing between the time he stepped out, and when he started to drown? He WALKED on water. Think about that for a sec, he WALKED on liquid, STORMY liquid at that. I'm barely a decent swimmer, never mind walker on water, I can't even imagine how awesome that would've been.

Jesus didn't call Peter out, he didn't call us out, to test our faith; as if to show us what our faith can and cannot do. He knows that our faith is small, he knows that we'll fall short, he knows that our walk with him isn't going to be one success after the other. His whole point is that between the time you take that first step out, and when you inevitably fall down, you get to be miraculous. That for those momentary struggles, for those fews gulps of salty water you take in, you get to walk on water for bit. When Peter remembers this event, what do you think he remembered most? Struggling to swim? Or do you think he remembered walking on water?

Do you fear your lack of faith? So much so that you don't even want to step out anymore, that you start saying to yourself "I know I'm going to drown out there". Don't let your amount of faith become a anxiety-causing performance indicator in your walk with God; that you think you have enough faith to accomplish this or you think you're much too lacking in faith to do that . Do you realize that God knows you don't have enough faith? He says in Matthew 17:20 that if we have faith as small as a mustard seed we can move mountains. Since I'm not seeing many mountains moving, it's pretty safe to say that God knows that our faith is small. Do you know that when God calls you to do something outrageously supernatural, he knows you don't have what it takes, but he just wants you to see yourself, by his power, walking on water?

I don't know what crazy hard things God has called you to do, maybe it's to take on a new ministry, maybe it's to take on less ministry. Maybe it's to go invest in your old church, maybe it's to leave your old church. To reach old friends, or to reach new people.....I don't know. But step out, go for it, knowing that your faith is too small, knowing that you'll fall short, but most of all, knowing that, for however long you manage, you'll be walking on water.

We are all =

The Bible tells us to love our neighbours as ourselves, but a lot of us have trouble with that, mostly because deep in our hearts we feel that there are certain people that just aren't worthwhile; that we feel as if some people don't deserve our love, or at least that they ought to come to church all broken and repentant since they are so much worse than us.

Well, is that really true? Are there actually people further from God than you and me?

Take me, my mentor (his name is Tae, a wonderful man of God), and a prostitute who does business down my street (I live in a suburban neighbourhood, but you could ignore that for now) as an example. What, then, is the difference between the 3 of us and God?

The above figure illustrates what the world thinks of that scenario; that my mentor is a bit closer to God than me (I'm rapidly catching up mind you), and let's say that the prostitute is REALLY awful, like not only does he/she commit adultery, but she steals from and drugs her clients all the while. So I'd probably think I'm MILES closer to God than him/her. That's what the world usually thinks isn't it? That we are somehow more or less good, more or less bad, more or less worthwhile, based on how well we follow certain laws and regulations and how much success we have. Sadly even some churches run like that; that certain types of people are closer, and are more worthwhile to invest in, more of use to God than others.

But back to the figure, as a lot people say nowadays, everything is relative. So the ratio x/y*100 represents the distance I/the world perceive between the prostitute's and my goodness, expressed as a percentage of the distance between me and God's goodness. Isaiah 53:9 says

As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

So it's pretty obvious to say that 'y', the distance between me and God, is infinity. So then what happens to our ratio?

Any quantity, regardless of magnitude or direction, divided by infinity is zero. So, in reality, the difference between me and that prostitute, with God in mind, is zero. As in, on my own, I am not a single step closer to God than he/she is; that seeing everyone on this planet as equals before God is not a matter of humility, it's simply a matter of fact. They are all ACTUALLY your equals, and if you are acting any differently, you're just being ignorant of reality. We are all equally, in the absolute mathematical sense, far from God, and just as equally saved by the blood of Jesus.

How do you owe?

When I think about Easter, I think particularly about forgiveness. I guess that's why to me Easter is more important than Christmas. I mean Jesus coming to Earth is important, but if he didn't do what he did at Easter it'd be all pretty useless. And what he did in the end was to forgive, you, me, and everybody for all our trespasses from the first day we knew how. He came to die, he came to save, he came to forgive.

Matthew 6:12 Jesus says to pray that God

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

It says, forgive others in the same way God forgave you. That leads to a question, do you know the ways in which you've been forgiven? Sometimes I imagine what it'd be like if God forgave us the way we forgive others. He'd be like "Ken, I know you coveted that Subaru Impreza just now. But it's ok, I forgive you. I won't strike you down with lightening when you walk outside this afternoon. But, um, I don't think I want to see you in my heaven anymore, ever." Sound silly right? But isn't that the way most of us forgive? How many times have you heard someone, or even yourself, say that "I forgive her, but I don't ever want to see her again", have you seen people say "I've let that go", but goto great lengths to avoid that person? We train ourselves to quickly dismiss the sin, but never bring ourselves to accept the sinner.

But that's not the way God forgives us is it? He hated our sin, but wanted to see us, to talk to us, to be with us, forever. He couldn't just let our sin slide, to cast a blind eye at it, but he wanted to accept us so badly that he sent his son to die so that our sins, our debts, would be accounted for. That is how God forgave you.

Forgive others in the same way God forgave you. How do you forgive people? Are there people that you have forgiven but have not accepted? Are there hurts in your past, that even though now you've chosen not to talk about it, you still hold that person in the darkest parts of your heart? Do you realize that whatever others have done to you, you've already done worse to God, and yet God chose to die for you, to accept you, and that he asks you to do the same?

Before even that, are you struggling to let go of certain hurts? Luke 7:47 says

He who has been forgiven little loves little.

I use to struggle with loving others, forgiving others, because I never truly knew in my heart what Christ did for me, but at men's retreat last year God broke my heart for what broke his in my life, as cliched as that sounds. Ask God to show you, in one overwhelming instant, everything in your life that was put on him at the cross. Because nothing else you do this afternoon makes any sense until you freely receive, and freely give, God's forgiveness. Easter is in 2 weeks. If you haven't fully accepted, fully realized that forgiveness, ask God to show you. If you haven't fully given, fully poured out, that forgiveness, confess, repent before God, and go do something before He rises 3 days later.