Intro
This is probably a good place to say that this is definitely not some sort of pre-req course for CCF DGL. I am not in a position to make those sorts of decisions at CCF, nor do I ever wish to be. Everything I do here is to support the committee and to build up your kingdom leadership, on this campus and beyond.So just because you've been invited to this doesn't mean you're going to be a DGL next year, and just because someone isn't here doesn't mean they won't be. I wasn't trying to be exclusive or elitist when I went on invitations to gather this group. I just wanted a smaller group lol.
Yet still there's almost 40 of you, and if you each had a group of 5, that'd mean 200 people will be committed to DGs next year, which would be cool, but not a realistic projection at this point. So even by simple math not all of you will be DGL next year.
But I know a lot of you had a great time going deeper Sunday morn at retreat, so I will be trying to equip you guys in that some more, wherever you end up taking this to: home church, the next school you're going to be at, maybe one on one with an old friend of yours.
John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
The vision I have for all of you is that a new generation of young kingdom leaders be raised to represent not simply some programs or some ideas, but the radical, powerful love of Christ.
Agenda for DGLT this term:
- This session we're doing a Q&A on the DG message on a more conceptual level, and I'll be going over the necessary character of someone who wants to go deeper with brothers or sisters
- In February, we'll have another Q&A discussion on the practicalities of DG relationships, and I'll be going over group formation and talking about DGL selection (which isn't just for committee, because we really ought to examine ourselves to see whether we're in the right season to be a leader)
- March we're going to have the current leaders talk about their joys and their struggles as a DGL, and have the younger folks share about their fears, and I'll talk a little bit about bringing biblical community to places where it hasn't been at that depth before
- I'm hoping to speak less and less each meeting this year, and have you guys work with each other more and more to wrestle through issues
(Group Work) Feedback on retreat DG message
- Before we get to questions, how did you feel about the DG message?
- Was it something you guys were already doing? Was it new?
- How did your group react to this challenge of going deeper and what were some common concerns or questions?
Importance of DGs
DGs change lives. I don't say it as if that's a burden you all need to carry, but I say it in hope, in faith, knowing the biblical community is vital to transformation. This isn't just any gathering where you just come together, bond, be good friends and learn a few things. DGs are a place where people face their demons and are transformed by God.That requires of you not knowledge, or even leadership, the #1 requirement for a DGL is a character of deep love.
I hope this is a relief to a lot of you, who thought you had to be this marvelously knowledgeable teacher or leader to walk with others or be a DGL, you don't. This should also serve as a reminder to others of you that being a DGL is just as much about your transformation, as it is about the transformation of those with you.
That aside, there will be some of you whose personalities and love languages just don't fit this group format. Actually I find a lot of very loving people would rather not be DGL because they find that the title actually detracts from how they love people. Weirdly over the years I've also found that the people who are super gung-ho about leading people are usually the ones who shouldn't, and the ones who hesitate and instinctively exercise a good amount of self-examination, who approach it in weakness, are usually the ones who should.
Some of you will be way better one on one, or maybe with a larger group like yearly meetings. Some of you will feel way freer as someone who's bringing that openness, bringing that authenticity, pushing forward with the DGL while not having to carry that title yourself.
I haven't even talked about seasons of receiving, seasons of healing, seasons of revelation, things that God will do with you that you should really focus on rather than be a leader, all of which we'll go over in Feb.
So not everyone should be a DGL when they hit upper year, and that's not saying anything negative about you. You have to put your insecurity issues aside and commit to walking with people, whether you end up being DGL or not. I don't want to hear anyone saying next year I was in DGLT so why wasn't I chosen as a DGL and that person was instead. None of that please. The title only matters if your pride or your insecurity cares about it. We'll talk more about all that in Feb.
Character for Going Deeper
Humility-Servanthood
Being a DGL isn't a badge of honor. It isn't some measure that says you're mature enough or stronger than other people who aren't DGL.Matt 20:25 But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, 28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Matt 23:8 But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all brothers. 9 And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. 10 Neither be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Christ. 11 The greatest among you shall be your servant.
I might sound a little harsh here, and I don't mean to do that, but this point is just really really important. You must get this right. If I could have you get anything at all out of these 3 sessions, this would be it.
The question you need to ask yourself is, are you aiming to be a leader because you deeply desire to love on others and walk alongside them and give of yourself to do so? Or are you in it because you think you're mature enough or capable enough to do this or you feel like you ought to be leading people by now?
Please be brutally honest with yourself and truly wrestle with that question. Please don't trick yourself when you answer that, because the truth will show in the fruit soon enough. I guarantee that in no time at all everyone will see exactly why you wanted to be DGL.
You're not making disciples of you, you're helping people become disciples of Jesus. Therefore I always say that DGLs bring the culture to a group, not the substance. You're not there to bring growth or bring teaching. You will soon find out that you can't grow people past their hurts or teach people out of their struggles. The Holy Spirit will bring the substance, John 16 says that He will lead us into all the truth. Rather, you're there to bring the tone, the attitude, setting a safe environment, calling on Christ's victory always, cheering people on.
At the end of the day, it really isn't about you as some awesome leader and how you'll manage to lead people and grow people because you're older or more mature or stronger or whatever. It's about what God will do when you walk life towards Him together.
Openness-Authenticity
James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
We talked about this one already at retreat. The thing to remember is that all of this is aiming towards healing, towards restoration by God. You're not aiming at the dark stuff so you can guilt and shame and scare people into earning their own victory. We're calling on the victory of Christ, and helping others see that what God has for them is so much better.
The other thing to remember is that the first one to go deep has to be you. The group will only go as deep as you do. Therefore if you're still not comfortable, still need to hide some significant, blinding piece of junk in your soul, then this is probably not a good time to be DGL.
Safety-Confidentiality
Hopefully I don't have to explain this to you. If you know you struggle with gossip, or you're way more comfortable talking about others than you are going deep about yourself, please don't be a DGL.Not only will you ruin your own group, I've seen entire DG ministries be ruined that way, because once there's a leak in one group, every group will shut up.
That's not to say we won't be graceful and just boot people out of groups when mistakes happen, but leaky mouths must be confronted, first by the leader, then by the group. What happens if there is no remorse or repentance after that I leave to a case by case basis.
I know DGLs a lot of time are asking other people outside the group to pray for someone, or give advice about how to handle certain situations. The simplest practical rule to save yourself messes here is of course to keep names out of it, and learn to abstract situations into ideas and concepts that other leaders can also wrestle with you on. More importantly, however trivial you think something is, always ask permission first.
Perseverance-Hope
Luke 18:1 And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart.
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. 2 For by it the people of old received their commendation. 3 By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.
One thing you'll notice quickly is that when people go deeper, when people start facing their demons, is that it can get messy, sticky, and ugly, but that doesn't necessarily mean that something's wrong.
People are remembering and reliving and facing hurts, anger, jealousy, unforgiveness. A lot of people don't know how to deal with stuff like that, especially deeper things like parents/childhood, past romantic relationships, past hurts dealt by brothers and sisters.
They might lash out and instinctively defend themselves when those areas are brought up; hurting people hurt people. I want you DGLs to know that that's normal, it isn't personal. As much as people will be prickly at times, please persevere with people in hope.
Don't give up, sometimes even if they do. We know that Christ wishes to restore us, but has called us to persevere in that pursuit. Let people know it's OK to struggle and wrestle, OK to fail repeatedly, no one is expecting magic bullets that fix things by next meeting. Remind people, we're here to grind this out with each other as long as we're in this group together.
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