10:30 PM 4/5/03

Hmm, first writing.....had to think about my vision for CCF this week, i don't really know all that clear at first, just thankful Gary was able to help me with it. Now i'm on the commitee for next year, feels weird, cause i think i might have been here before, and it didn't work out so well last time. It was really weird how Gary kinda brought out my liking for small groups, they really had changed me this year, and supported me when i think i was goin nuts. Men's cell was always fun, whether we were just talking or studying the word. All of us had good things to say, and it was a lot of fun getting to know the guys. Deeper, kinda missed out on the first half, but Shaun and Gloria really lets things loose, and a sunday school answer is never really allowed. Allowed me to really probe my own mind, to what i believe in, and revealed to me a lot of things that i need to explore further. I dunno, one hand, i'm keen on seeing small groups grow, but don't know how......on the other hand, i'm bad at communication so treasurer is kinda tough for me......so where am i goin? This vision, as sylvia pointed out, is something i'm not very good at, to see ahead, to understand what i want.....just help me, i'm in this 100% now, and i can't give NEthing less.