11:53 PM 10/8/2003

Lord, just thank you so much for this week. The 2 midterms were......not as crazy as i first thought they'd be. Well, i don't really know how i did, but at least i did them. Thanks for a great first month, it has been exceptionally smooth, from registration to now midterms. Thanks so much for the blessings. Hope things are still in one piece back home, if anything though, it would be better than before. Pray that you'll be with mom and dad on their vacation, that they'll have a relaxing time, and that it doesn't turn out to be one of those "yes i've been here" trips. Pray that you'll support the commitee in CCF, i haven't had the best attitude lately, always looking out for just me. I keep feeling that they're not looking out for me at all, that they're there just to serve their own purpose. Whether that's true or not shouldn't matter as to how i do my work as admin. I'll just try my best to get what's needed to do done. That's the way i always approach things, and i pray that you can grant me what it takes to do just that. Pray for each commitee memeber, we have a lot of work to do, and it seems like we haven't really quite gotten a handle on how to deal with this much bigger group......although the fellowship as a group really hasn't had all that meetings together yet. But the feeling is different from last year, i don't know whether itz me or itz the fellowship being bigger, or having different people. But it just doesn't feel as homey anymore. Probably because there are so many people that just don't interact with eachother. Crap.....cliques.....that's what's starting to happen, people who only interact with certain other people exclusively. Grant me strength that i can do soemthing about that.....i don't know what i can do....just lift up CCF to you. Lift up this weekend, just that i can find time to touch base with friends, and deal with assignments and midterms.....get a haircut and get flu shot and get teeth cleaning......pretty packed weekend. I hope i have time to do it all. Pray for eric.....dunno what he's up to nowadays, but i pray that he just doesn't talk about you anything, and get around to actually rep-ing that by actions. Cuz so far only thing he has that resembles you is maybe goin to church and hanging out with church friends (i can't even say christian friends), let's hope there's a side to him i haven't seen that reflects you, but so far i haven't seen that at all. Lift up pheebs, dunno what's up with her, but she needs you, ALOT, just to feel you again. Lift up my friends to you, that they can all, whether they know you or not, come to be refreshed in you. Many burdens on my heart lord, so many expectations, so many goals that i don't know if i can achieve. I just feel really tired lord......i need you strength, and i pray i can get some of it this weekend. In you name, Amen