11:57 PM 5/2/03

first MCAC fellowship today, was good, in itz own way...... didn't feel quite the same energy and vitality as HCCF, felt more restrainted... but i guess that's just the way we are here. I'm really looking forward to this fellowship growing deeper though, I can really feel the leaders hearts really in it, although they might not be approaching this in a way i would, but i can really feel that dedication, that internal passion. I just hope that in this 4 months here i can somehow contribute a bit to this growing ministry. Sylvia is really correct, we kinda are really lacking in worship, and i feel this is more than just missing talent..... MCAC really doesn't have a heart of worship, i think the uni students are definitly better than the adults, but i just don't feel much energy.... but perhaps i'm just more used to more hyped up worship, i don't know how much i can help in that area, but i kinda feel that itz the only place i can help. Talking to sonia about friends, and yeah, i am really concerned, not about my new friends, but the old ones, seems almost like not friends now. Still keep up the looks of friendship, but there's just nothing deep there...... uni hasn't been helpful to them at all, i was revived, refreshed, and they have just fallen further and further away..... not that they're pulling 180s on me, just slowly, bit by bit, turning away from you, making you a smaller and smaller part of their lives. So i really pray for them, touch them lord, with you hand, to bring them back to you.... use me as you would to achieve this, because i don't want to see them go. They need refreshing, renewing, getting to really know you, and not about you, cuz they know all about you already, but that's not what it's about...... Really glad that sis has really grown in her ministry, and really starting to think, not just do, and really getting to know your will, your plan for what she does...... really just growing, getting to know you heartedly, and that's really cool, and i just want to say thanks. Still need a job though, so i'm just goin to lift that up to you, and hope you provide.