1:43 AM 6/9/2003

sigh, i guess i haven't written much in here the last couple weeks cuz i've kind agiven up hope......job hunting is a pretty darn discouraging thing to do......i haven't even gotten the chance to get door shut on me, they were never open in the first place. Uni fellowship is really something to praise you and to worship you about, not that we ever needed a reason....that's true.....people need to learn to praise you for their routineness in life.....NEways, fellowship blooming, things are getting set up, attendance is getting regular, and people are getting to know eachother by more than name and reputation. I'd like to think making ME feel at home is a hard thing, but i do feel more at home there than a lot of places. Just continue to pray for sam, jon, rich, jesse, and ray.........all of them need you, badly to just invade into their lives, and change them at the core........dunno what i can do NEmore, just don't have the words to say, give them to me, the see the pointlessness, the uselessness of things things they strive for, the lack of passion and will to be with you, itz really disheartening, to see them move through the motions.....for what? i still don't get it, but i suppose a gesture is a gesture and they'll keep coming, although i don't know how much they get......i thank you for jesse, he's coming to fellowship, and i'll do my best to continue to encourage him to come. Leading studies is an interesting thing, i'm always trying to look for clever things, smart things to bring out.....but i pray that you can make me take notice of the little things, the things in our lives that we take for granted, the miracle of your walking with us, of us being able to talk to you personally.......changes in me, dunno what she could mean, i'm more joyous nowadays, but still i feel rather similiar in mindset...... "how could you expect me to explain God to you, if i can't even expect you to explain calculus to me?" interesting thought, people always think why can't christian prove God exists......well.....i'd like to think you're a little more complicated than math......and i'm having a hard enough time figuring that out......Really dunno what to do about church singspiration, i don't particularly like it, but i don't really have any solutions that i can personally accomplish....just have to pray for that.....for soemthing to stir up in these people. NEways, sleeping, get me a job tommoro.....please.....